Dear Family and Friends,

Most of us do pretty well when receiving suggestions or advice from people we trust (like an old friend), people we respect (like those with a title or seniority), and people from whom we seek advice (like mentors and psychologists).

But how well do we receive advice from someone who’s not “authorized” to give us advice? A peer, subordinate, or stranger.

Do you receive advice from just about anyone with grace?

Or are you like me, whose face pretty much says it all.

Depending on the person and the circumstances, my emotions have ranged from hurt to disdain or contempt.

It’s not something I’m proud of. In fact, this verse struck home for me.

“Better was a poor and wise youth than an old and foolish king who no longer knew how to take advice.”  Ecclesiastes 4:13 ESV

Proverbs is filled with passages about receiving advice.

“The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.” Proverbs 12:15 NIV

“Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise.”  Proverbs 15:31 NIV

“Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.”  Proverbs 19:20 NIV

Have you noticed that these verses do not say go to trusted friends, superiors or mentors for advice?

Instead, Proverbs says, “All wisdom comes from the Lord, and so do common sense and understanding.”  Proverbs 2:6 CEV

So, how do we become better at receiving advice, regardless of the source?

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.”

Let’s not presume the offerer of advice has ill intent.

Let’s also consider that if the Lord could send a stern message to Balaam through a donkey (See Numbers 22), our Lord might be speaking through the person confronting us.

So, before calling the person by the name of a male donkey… perhaps we should look for any bit of truth behind the advice. Why?

Because, “The simple reality of life is that everyone is wrong on a regular basis.”  Barry Ritholtz

Many of us are tempted to “shoot the messenger” when someone points out a fault.

Perhaps our Lord would rather we be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. And not be like Balaam who beat his donkey.

As we close, Emerson offers this advice for the next time we face an unauthorized advice giver who happens to be a fellow believer.

“The Lord loves him and bears with him; therefore you must not despise him, or treat him harshly.

The Lord bears with you likewise, and expects that you should show tenderness to others, from a sense of the much forgiveness you need yourself.

In a little while you will meet in heaven; he will then be dearer to you than the nearest friend you have upon earth is to you now.

Anticipate that period in your thoughts; and though you may find it necessary to oppose his errors, view him personally as a kindred soul, with whom you are to be happy in Christ forever.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

In love always,