Dear Family and Friends,

When I wrote my message On Anxiety last week, news was just starting to break about a 30 year old professional golfer who took his own life.

He had suddenly withdrawn from a tournament after shooting a poor round, went home…

For years, he had been open about his struggles with mental health and alcoholism.

When he won the Sony Open in January (at Waialae CC) he revealed being sober for the past eight months.

He openly talked about his life saying, “I struggle with anxiety. I struggle with depression. I struggle with comparing myself to others, self-esteem. I think they’re common issues that we all endure.”

I’m not sure if Grayson Murray was a man of faith.

But we are. So, let’s talk about this very real cause of anxiety.

Studies have shown that we spend up to ten percent of our thoughts evaluating ourselves against others.

In areas including attractiveness, wealth, intelligence, and success.

Unfortunately, our relationship with Christ doesn’t always protect us from the positive and negative effects of comparison.

What positive and negative effects?

When we compare well against others, we gain self-confidence, but lose our humble spirit. 

When we fall short of others, we lose our self-confidence, but become humble. 

While there may be a few benefits from comparing ourselves to others, there’s a greater risk that both scenarios will lead to anxiety. 

So, what can we do?

Let’s take a look at the pertinent verses from this familiar parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector.

“The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector.’

But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’”  ‭‭Luke‬ ‭18‬:‭11,13 NIV‬‬

The Pharisee did as the world does – he compared himself against others.

Paul says this about following the ways of the Pharisee.

“For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor.”  Galatians‬ ‭6‬:‭3‬-‭4‬ ‭ESV‬

Many of us focus our attention on the Pharisee when reading this parable.

Perhaps we should take a closer look at the tax collector.

Who considered himself unclean, so he stood at a distance.

And unworthy, so he looked down and beat his breast as he stood before God.

The tax collector took the posture of humility before God.

Unlike the Pharisee, he was not comparing himself against others.

He was comparing himself against the standards set by God. And begging God to grant him mercy.

When the worldly compare themselves against others and fall short, they lose their self-confidence but become humble. 

But something different happens when we compare ourselves against our Lord Jesus. 

We become humble, yet gain self-confidence. 

How is that possible?

Standing before Christ our Lord is humbling. We find ourselves with no basis for feeling superior towards others.

Because by the Gospel, our identity and self-image are built not on ourselves or how we compare against others, but on Christ.

Yet at the same time, we’re able to stand tall and full of confidence. We find ourselves with no reason to envy or feel inferior of others.

Because by the Gospel, we are chosen, saved by grace, and loved by the only one who really matters – Jesus.

Stand tall my friends.

In love always,