Dear Family and Friends,

After being away for almost three months, we are headed home. For the most part, LA is a nice place to live.

The one thing that I noticed however (that I thankfully never noticed in Hawaii) is that people here feel perfectly okay with discarding their car trash in parking lots, and I don’t mean in a trash bin.

No, they dump it right there in the stall outside their car and drive off.

I once had a pet peeve about those who leave their shopping carts in the stalls… and now this.

I’m not sure why, but this irritates me so much it’s causing me to stare down everyone in parking lots, wearing my dark sunglasses of course. “Are they trash dumpers?” I ask myself. 

Kidding aside, I recently discovered that my irritation with people extends beyond parking lot trash dumpers. We recently walked past someone wearing his mask under his chin, and before I could stop myself, my inner voice called him an irritant. 

We have been living in a bubble for over a year now. What I mean by bubble is that our exposure to regular folks has been extremely restricted, even for those who go to work.

Meetings with friends were rare, maybe even non-existent. For most of us, our primary exposure to the outside world was the news, and the news has been tough to take in this year.

It’s been a steady stream of people fighting and hating each other over: politics, election results, virus severity, masks, vaccines, civil rights. The list goes on and in our quest to stay informed about the pandemic, we heard, read and saw it all. 

Now, I’m not bashing the media. It’s their role to report what’s new and unfortunately fighting and hatred are the new norm. But did you know that a year of constant exposure to nothing but people behaving badly can actually change a person? 

Going back to the trash dumpers and the mask(less) guy, something surprisingly good came from these folks.

They showed me that my irritation with them, my rush to judge, are early warning signs of cynicism; and the chances are I am not the only one affected by the overdose of fighting and hatred over this past year. 

Cynicism is defined as the belief that people are only interested in themselves and are not sincere.

When all we see are people behaving badly, it’s easy to lose faith in society and people in general. We start to believe that most people are that way.

In our isolation, we lose sight of the goodness in others. 

Let me ask you a few honest questions: if someone started telling you their views on one of the issues above, what do you think will come to mind first? Would your feelings for them shift depending on whether you agree or disagree with their stance? Would you listen to their opinion, or would you form an opinion about them? Would you see them in a new way, perhaps with a big old sticker that reads “irritant”?

As we slowly emerge from our bubbles, may I suggest we take steps to guard our hearts and our minds, an essential prerequisite to loving others? Paul offers helpful advice in this section of scripture titled Think of Excellence. 

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all people. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and pleading with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, think about these things. As for the things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:4-9 

The enemy has used this pandemic to create conflicts and hatred that destroy relationships.

Despite what our eyes have seen or our ears have heard, as Christ followers, let us trust that our Lord is always near.

Let us show our gentle spirit to all through our words and deeds.

If we sense cynicism is rising within, let us ask the Lord to guard our minds, our hearts, and our souls.

Finally, let us search for and dwell on the goodness in others. If we look hard enough we will see the image of God in everyone… even parking lot trash dumpers and mask(less) guys.

In love always,